![]() We didn’t love God any less and neither did we blame Him for any of it, but we were just so flat, knocked on our butts, and wondering, If this is really what ministry is like, is it even worth it? How can we go on like this? Just being real!Īt just the right time, we heard that one of our favorite worship leaders and revivalists-and now friend-Roy Fields, was visiting a church about an hour away from us. We were left feeling like everything had been smacked out of us. ![]() There were a lot of other things going on, but I think you get the picture. We were also caught up and exposed to some behind-the-curtain leadership politics that left us feeling discouraged and disappointed and wondering where to put our trust. We were dealing with several ministry friends who were getting divorced. We were let down and betrayed by some people close to us, which hurt.Īnother ministry friend had a massive failure that really knocked the wind out of us and destroyed the momentum and ultimately the ministry, into which we had placed so much time, hope, and energy. Our dear friend and pastor was also very sick with cancer, and ultimately passed away. We unexpectedly and suddenly lost Jodie’s mum to cancer. I won’t go into all the gory details, but I will paint a bit of a picture of what we were going through, because I know you might just be able to relate.The “highlights” are: We had one hit after another over a six-month period that left us feeling devastated, disappointed, and disillusioned. This could go on for six or eight waves in a row depending on how big the set was.Well, that’s exactly what this time in 2009 felt like for us. A massive wave would hit and hold me under for as long as I felt I could take, and then just as I could finally surface and take a huge gasp of air, another even bigger wave hit and again I would be pummeled, tumbling around like I was in the heavy duty cycle of my mum’s washing machine. Because of the unique geography of where we lived in the beautiful North Island, we had the rare opportunity to be able to drive from the East Coast beaches when the surf was flat, to the notoriously much bigger and rougher surf of the West Coast, in only an hour!I remember, on many occasions, wiping out on the huge West Coast waves and getting caught “inside” where the waves were breaking. When I think about that time, I am reminded of my teenage years growing up in New Zealand, surfing after school, on weekends, and every chance I got. In early 2009 my wife, Jodie, and I were experiencing one of those valley seasons.
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